Another Veterans Day
Submitted by James on Sun, 11/11/2007 - 3:22pm
Veterans Day arrives every year like a hand grenade that has been rolling around the floorboard of my life for months. My earliest memories of the day go back to my father’s military service, back when he wore the uniform of a US Navy hospital corpsman.
My father, I suspect, was a victim of post-traumatic stress syndrome. If not that, he was a least clinically depressed. Not because he was shot in the leg during the Korean War, but because of the hundreds of Marines he watched die on the battlefield. As a corpsman, he spent more time than anyone should spend in blood up to his elbows, working against hope in one of our many wars without end.
Today we are engaged in another war without end. Indeed, many of Bush's key enablers see Iraq unfolding into another Korea with as many as 50,000 US troops permanently stationed there. Why else are we now building in Iraq the largest and most fortified US embassy in the world?
Truth be told, I am barely able to sustain my anger about the horrors of this war. For in some ways, it is not nearly so heinous as Bush’s other assaults on democracy and sanity. The war itself is merely a symptom of our moral decline and collective stupidity, our swift descent into a corrupt police state that secretly tortures and imprisons other human beings. The daily revelations of graft and greed inside the military-industrial-Congressional complex have almost destroyed my hope for the future.
My father saw all this coming. A lifelong Republican and Christian, even he could sense the shifting sands of political extremism. He abandoned his own church after decades of service because the congregation began drinking fundamentalist Kool-Aid. He eschewed politics in the wake of Ronald Reagan’s declaration of a long war on the middle class. And when my mother finally died of a heart attack, he withdrew, alone and abandoned by everything he held dear.
One morning not long after I introduced him to his newest granddaughter, my father shot himself in the head. There was no note of explanation. As you might expect, everyone came up with their own interpretations about why he killed himself. He missed my mom. He was having a bad day. He was tired. Some even thought it might have been an accident. Whatever.
I believe that he was sad. That he felt useless and impotent. That he could not imagine a world that would be safe and secure for his grandchildren. I believe George W. Bush has created exactly the world my father wanted to leave.
Crossposted at Kos
Because I can.
Do good. Be nice. Have fun.
Hope dies first.
My heart goes out to you, James. That's a damned tough thing to live with. Even though my pop died from Alzheimer's, he was relatively happy during his descent, probably because he forgot all the bad things as well as the good ones.
War kills more than just the bodies of the lost. It kills the spirit of the survivors, too.
Some wounds never completely heal
For your father perhaps that was the case. And for you having to carry on afterwards. I am sorry for you and your family, that's a tough thing to take.
My father died when I was in high school. That's one of my wounds.
For me though, hope never dies. If it did, cancer would have killed me 25 years ago.
And it's that hope that will keep me opposing the Bushies and thier kind now and whenever they rear their power and profit mad heads.
Peace A.
Person County Democrats
Environmental Defense Fund
Cell phones will be to the 21st century what tobacco was to the 20th.
?
Are you blaming your father's death on the Republicans?
Carolina Politics Online
Carolina Politics Online
No, he's not
Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.
***************************
Vote Democratic, the ass you save may be your own.
I find much to fault with Republicans
but, no, I do not blame my father's death on anyone.
And I must say, it's hard for me to understand how a person could come up with that question based on what I wrote.
Do good. Be nice. Have fun.
No Offense Meant
I am not asking the question to be offensive, but I wasn't entirely certain of your intentions. You threw several political jabs into what was otherwise a very tragic story and I was a bit taken aback when I read it, that's all.
Carolina Politics Online
Carolina Politics Online
Not "entirely sure?"
It was an offensively stupid question.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing
-Edmund Burke
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing
-Edmund Burke
Legitimate
It was a perfectly legitimate question, maybe a little too forward, but legitimate nonetheless.
Carolina Politics Online
Carolina Politics Online
No, it was not an ok question.
I held off because I am not so objective when it comes to questions concerning the death of a father, but IMO you screwed the pooch bigtime.
Think about it, A. just spills his guts about something very personal and very tragic and you ask that question point blank.
and a lot insensitive.
Person County Democrats
Environmental Defense Fund
Cell phones will be to the 21st century what tobacco was to the 20th.
People usually think their own questions
are legitimate. It often takes the views of others to see them in a different light.
Since you're relatively new around here, let me assure you of one thing: When I want to make a case that someone is responsible for something, you'll never have to ask me this kind of question. I am always very clear.
Do good. Be nice. Have fun.
I don't think it was legitmate
Not if you read the entire post.
Not if you have least bit of common human decency and understand the impact suicide has on family members. I think it was a rude, invasive and impudent question, asked of a man who laid bare his soul on a subject that is extremely difficult to talk about.
I don't often say this to many people, because I don't think many subjects should be taboo. But you should be ashamed of yourself.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. --Gandhi
Not done yet
The statement that Anglico's comment included "political jabs" into "what was otherwise a very tragic story . . ." assumes that the comments that you interpreted as "jabs" were not an integral part of his point. In other words, he is not permitted, from your perspective, to assert any relevance between a person's despair and a political climate. For some of us, the political climate isn't just a game or a stage for acting out theoretical concepts. For some of us, a political climate is part of what defines a society. I read Anglico's comment without thinking even for a moment that he was "blaming" anyone or any particular thing for his father's death. He made the point, however, that the current political climate is one his father would have abhorred. Instead of taking the writer at his word, you decide that your own projection should be made part of a challenge to the integrity of his assertion (thus your use of the term "jab" and the phrase "otherwise very tragic"). By use of such terminology, particulary the word "otherwise," you take a jab of your own. Let me boil it down more simply, since you're apt to misread: You decided that your interest in taking a jab was more important than respecting the writer's plain words for their plain meaning.
There was nothing "legimate" about it, unless you are actually not capable of thinking more carefully.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing
-Edmund Burke
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing
-Edmund Burke
What the hell kind of question is that?
Have you no human sensitivity whatsoever? Holy Mother.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. --Gandhi
Stop reading my mind, woman!
I've got waaaay too many disgusting and potentially embarassing thoughts circulating around in my head, and if you keep poking around in there, you're bound to stumble across some of them. Swim at your own risk...
SC - You and I seem to have many of the same thoughts
and often at the same time. Which I find alternatingly fascinating and frightening.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. --Gandhi
Good Lord.
What the hell kind of question is that?
If you paid attention to the timeline described, including the fact that the reference to James' now teenaged daughter being a baby when the suicide occurred, you'd realize it happened during the 1990's. As such, Bush was not President yet when it happened, so James' reference to him was more an observation of his father's concern about the future than anything political.
When I was in Vietnam, I saw lots of Navy Corpsman....
They were with us...Right in the Jungle. That is why Navy Corpsman wear U.S. Marine Corps Uniforms. Few people will ever really know how well earned that privlege is.
James, this story you have shared with us about your dad is sad. It is very sad. I know coping with this tragedy must have been, and probably still is difficult, but please let me share my view.
I did not know your esteemed father. I only know what you have shared with us all. However troubled your dad was just before he died, there was a time when he was not so and he spent his time influencing you.
You are, as are we all, a product of your enviorment, therefore your dad gets to take some credit for who you are today.
You are accomplished, educated, respected, active and known for your good works as well as your good thoughts, as you share them with the world on BlueNC and other media. You are a loved dad yourself and a cherished husband. Your dad gets some of that credit James. As with me and my long ago deceased dad, you have taken from your dad the good parts, and learned so very much about all the rest.
I see my dads picture every day and he is not far from me. You too have your dad with you somewhere James. If this were not true, you would not have shared this very personal story with all of us, even as I would not have shared the story I did with you about my dad.
My dad was a private in the US Army during the Korean war. From my perspective he may as well been a General Officer, because that is how I see him. He drank himself to death.
That must have been tough on you James. Maybe there was no explanation he thought good enough to leave to you. No one really knows why people do these things. Those who suppose they do are usually guessing and summize a great deal about another human-being they may have barly even known. They are usually wrong.
Your dad suffered some really horrific events in his life. The great void of loneliness, on top of all the rest, may have been, as you summize the straw that broke the back, but really, no-one will ever know.
What I know of your father James is about as much as you know of my own deceased father. My father was a Veteran, an honorable American and "my dad". I would like for you to think of him that way..........and I wil do the same regarding your dad.... Both Veterans, both good human-beings, both the fathers of sons who grew and learned and overcame.
Happy Veterans day James.
Semper Fi.
Marshall Adame
Thank you, Marshall
You are such a thoughtful man. We desperately need you in Congress.
Do good. Be nice. Have fun.
Thank you to all vets
But, today was to remember one particular one who left us in July.
Here's what I wrote over at Scru Hoo about Delwin Anderson, Mr DQ's second Dad, who was a pioneer of social services in the VA as a life-long response to his experiences in Europe during the second big one.
News of the 10th district: See Pat Go Bye Bye,
Thanks for that link, DQ
So many touching and moving stories today. So sad how far this country has fallen in keeping its obligations to them.
Do good. Be nice. Have fun.
My uncle, a vet of WWII and Korea, killed himself
in the early 60s. A pharmacist had given him unprescribed medication. (I assume he was an addict.) His wife had recently left him with their two kids. But my grandmother always blamed Korea. "He was never the same after he was recalled," I heard her say many many times.
So much waste. My mother hardly ever smiled after that. In all the photos from the thirties, forties and fifties, she looked like a carefree beautiful woman. Even during the depression, she was smiling little girl. I never knew that woman. After she died I found a photo of my uncle in her bureau, ripped to shreds. My father said, "I always wonder what had happened to that." He'd never asked.
No one talked about my uncle except for my grandmother. No one talked about suicide in the 60s. The night after my mother died, I saw my grandmother's bedroom light still on so I knocked on her door at three in the morning. Did she want to talk about my mother? No. She talked about Uncle Bill, her son who had died 25 years before.
I don't remember my uncle, but it's clear to me that it's the waste of young lives going on right now, Iraqi, Afghani AND American, that will haunt us for a long time to come.
News of the 10th district: See Pat Go Bye Bye,
Suicide
destroys more than the life that ends at the hands of the person who takes their own. I'm so sorry for your Mom, DQ. And for your family, A. And for mine (my brother ended his life in 1984). And for all of the survivors, it's so much harder. To think that it's as simple as "blaming the Republicans" is just ridiculous.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. --Gandhi
When I see the young faces
of the dead and damaged in Iraq, I know deep in my heart we will be haunted for at least a hundred years.
Do good. Be nice. Have fun.
Oops I've left him nameless
My uncle was Bill Dudley. William Neil Dudley Jr. He grew up in Charlottesville VA the very years of the famous UVa and pro football star of the same name. But he was just a "regular" Bill Dudley. Just like the "regular" men and women in the Middle East or at home who don't know what hit them and may never figure it out in a way that brings them peace.
Let us find a way to end this madness.
News of the 10th district: See Pat Go Bye Bye,
Wow
In the same vein, at the big orange satan.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/11/11/151936/14
"Keep the Faith"
"Keep the Faith"
Thank you
James, your beautiful writing and your courage to share this gives me hope. Perhaps we do have enough thoughtful people, committed people, to change our country's tragic course.
I can't speak to the brutal awful horror of war, but I can speak to the sadness of a child who waits and hopes that his father will return from the killing fields of Vietnam. My father is a good man, and I've never asked him what he witnessed or, worse, what he was forced to do as a young man. I don't think I could bear the answer.
Your essay asks me to confront the idea that my father or the vast number of fathers who are veterans could do the same. I am uneasy about this but thankful for the impetus to confront it.
I am so sorry for your sadness. I am even more sorry for your father's pain. Why do we keep fighting? Why do we keep sending our sons and daughters to slaughter? What insanity!
The awful people who govern our nation don't even have the decency to feel shame. If I were a believing man, I'd condemn them to hell. Alas, the best we can hope for is that they'll go away, and we won't have the stupidity to call on their like again.
Again, thank you. We all long to share our lives, if only we all had the courage to do so.
greg
Thank you Greg
It always lifts my spirits to know you're out there lurking.
:)
Do good. Be nice. Have fun.
Anglico
Thank you so much for sharing. You're an inspiration
Larry Kissell
Democratic Candidate for Congress
North Carolina's 8th District
Someone Working...For a Change
No one askes the men and women that serve our country where
they will find the courage to serve. No one asks the men and women that serve our country where they will find the heroism to give their life for the safety of their comrade. Why does our Congress have trouble finding the money to serve our veterans and the families of the soldiers that respond to the call to go to war?
Anglico, your story says it all. Your father served with honor; it was we that failed to serve him.
Ross Overby.