On the Death of my Pre-Dawn Light

This is the sweet face who usually gets me out of bed every morning. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

But, once out of bed, stronger medicine is required. My habit for the last several years has been to drink many warm cups of coffee while doing morning chores; dishes, reading, lunches, writing, taking to school, commenting, getting ready for work, etc. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that when one so set in her ways as I is denied a morning habit, the world -- in that home, anyway -- goes still on its axis. It is Tragedy. There is no other way to describe it. There is wailing and gnashing of teeth. It was a rip in my personal space/time continuum, that moment of realization; today, Leslie H, you will not, can not, have that wonderful creation from Nature’s God, caffeine.

Yes, we Americans love her; the lowly coffee bean. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

We love her, for she is magic. She can wake us up when we’ve had only a few hours sleep and make us actually believe we can function. Some of us are addicted to her. I would be one of those “some.”

The morning of which I speak was like any other morning. It was a Monday. Tragedy struck without warning. My coffee maker hadn’t been sick. I had just made a full pot the previous day. The grinder worked fine. Water came out of my kitchen spigot just fine. There were plenty of filters in the cabinet. No dispiriting spills of black coffee dust marred the morning ritual this day. No, everything was perfect. Until I pushed the button. Nothing. Check the plug. Nothing. Turn it off and on again. Nothing.

You know that feeling? ... the rush of panic you can almost hear swell in your gut and in the back of your mind when just before escapes your lips, “oh. shit.” and your eyes start to get a little more watery than they were just a split second ago? Well, that was me on this morning.

I looked for my camping coffee pot.
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Nowhere. Oh, god, did I put it out in the storage shed!? AAhhhh!

My elbows on the counter and my head in my hands I remembered a poem I had started long ago after a romantic dream had gone sour. It came flooding back and I realized how very weirdly appropriate it was. I added the final lines. And here it is, my heart on my sleeve for you, my friends. If this helps just one person get through a similar very bad no good horrible hard place, my work here is done.

On the Death of my Pre-Dawn Light

Hear the ripping deep roar far back in her
Soul like the groan of a falling timber
I fight to stop me; me, my own physician,
Kicking screaming drags my guts through the medicine
of tears. Reason, a hard therapist, pounds
my memories to jar them and beat out
The sweet that stings like too much honey
In my throat and fades away too slowly.
You were gentle, warm, simple and easy;
My one friend full of wakeup and pleasing
Perfume you turned on bubbly filling night
Eyes and arms with morning lively and light
I watch nothing happen in the cold predawn
Lost, praying your light -- please, please -- comes back on.

But wait! Last year for my birthday my lovely son gave me something ... yes, I remember ...w00T!! Where did I put that thing??

::::rummage, rummage, scatter, scatter, open cabinets, pull stuff out, close cabinets::::

Bon jour, mon ami. :-)

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I LOVE THE FRENCH!!

Comments

Poetry!

Yum yum, Leslie.

It brought back memories of my own coffee pot's demise.

Nothing like a cuppa java boiled in a pan on the stove and strained through papertowel to get the crunchies out.

Mmmm....yum yum.

Crazy morning

I'm going to go crank up my press pot and settle in to enjoy this beautiful post. It's a very wonderful surprise!

Glad you like it, A.

::: fluffs feathers :::

thanks!

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Hah!

Did your world stop turning in the moment you realized it was gone? :)

My heart goes out to anyone who's had to drive to work sans coffee. I got there that day early just to get coffee, walked by a meeting taking place and was spotted through the window. They pulled me in to ask a question. I actually tried to tell them I needed coffee first. See how out of my senses I was? It was horrible.

Thankfully I realized in the knick of time who was in that conference room and who I had just tried to blow off. I came to my senses, turned around, checked on their question and answered it ... before the coffee. Another tragedy avoided. :)

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Leslie

You are such a wonderful writer, I wish you would write more here. Oh, I always love you pics....sweet kitty. The coffee pot pic is perfect!

No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.

Progressive Discussions

She is a sweetie

If I try to sleep past sunrise I get a cold paw on my face or a hooked paw (with claws) gently pulling up under my hand or elbow. Orion is a sweetie, but she don't take no junk.

Thanks, momo!

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

This is fantastic!

The poem is wonderful. Too, too, too, too, funny.

Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.



***************************
Vote Democratic, the ass you save may be your own.

The poem

was so dark and depressing before. Now it makes me smile! 8^)
heh!

Thanks for being the rubber-band to my windup airplane, SD!!! ;)

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

I'll start shooting rubberbands at you if it helps :)

This is awesome - graphics, poem, everything. Is that your daughter in the reflection?

Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.



***************************
Vote Democratic, the ass you save may be your own.

No, its

a boingboing pic gotten here. I've been scouring public domain sites for a week and a half looking for pics. Found these over the weekend.

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Bon Mots!

very nice.

Ashevillein

thanks.

I liked the pie chart you put up earlier this week. It made my eyes bug out, but it was a great little picture to send on to others.

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

I ran out of cream for my coffee this morning

...and there's not enough diet coke in the world to make up for coffee loss.

Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.



***************************
Vote Democratic, the ass you save may be your own.

ack!

No coke for my tummy. One soft drink and I sound like a fog horn the rest of the day, belching every time I try to open my mouth. LOL ... not pretty. :/

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

I do the same thing

I usually only drink it when nobody is here. Now...over ice it's a bit different, but still.............

Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.



***************************
Vote Democratic, the ass you save may be your own.

oops

wrong place ... edited to move .... :-}

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

When we go camping

hubby gets up early to stoke the fire and starts a pot of coffee for me...his coffee is diet coke, only on very, very cold mornings will he drink coffee. For years I just boiled hot water and used instant, then my dad gave me a coffee maker for my bd....now wouldn't live without it!

No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.

Progressive Discussions

Yeah,

I used to do that instant Nescafe thing, too. That was back before Mr. Coffee and a percolator was not a part of my kitchenware. My folks had one perking every morning when I was growing up. I may have to try that mode of coffee brewing again one day.

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

i would like to

dedicate this to the French. I'm still using their wonderful invention.

Viva la France!!!

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Leslie, what a wonderful post.

I must admit, I've been through a similar experience. My coffee pot got up on the wrong side of the bed one morning, and so did I. I decided, at that moment, to switch to the french press, and I've never looked back. Now, Mr. Coffeepot has gone to that happy rolling meadow in the sky, and presspot coffee is the only option at home.

Thanks for sharing this.

Hey minstrel

Seems a lot of us have had this experience. :)

I'm finding that the French press maker gives me good coffee at just the right temperature and it really cuts down on my caffeine consumption, which, actually, can't be bad. I'm always amazed at how little crack-ups in life so often turn into blessings in disguise.

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

My coffee making device...

is a cold-brew. So when I run out, it takes 12 hours to get more. I like it better than hot-brewed coffee: it's less acidic, and when you add the hot water to the cold coffee, it's at a temperature that's drinkable.

Which is why it was very sad that I didn't have any today. Perhaps I should get an emergency French press...

I've never had cold-brew

I've had a cold brew, though.

Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.



***************************
Vote Democratic, the ass you save may be your own.

LOL! That is hard core, my friend.

Isn't that the flavor beer they brewed on the Drew Carey show? BuzzBeer or something like that?

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Too funny!

I have tears running down my face!

Hey nan!!

Don't cry for me, nannyboz-a!

The drip was ordinary, unimportant, and undeserving, of such attention; unless we all are.

I guess we all are.

:::sniffle:::

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Ahh coffee, the bean of our existence ...

Well written. Thanks. Reminds me of the cold panic of my coffee drinking days when the beans would run out and I became yet another cup junkie looking for a fix. Bean there, done that, one too many times! It got to me. Felt like a true has-bean. So I switched to tea. Getting over that coffee jones, however, has bean hard, as you can imagine.
Human Bean, Dharma Pup

beans

is beans. I love the coffee ones. Chocolate covered are awesome. :) Thanks, DPup. Glad you liked it!

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Oh, Yeah.

Chocolate covered coffee beans and no where to buy them out here in the boonielands.

::::sobs::::

Oh, Unique

you have to come to Clayton. The Coffee Mill on Lombard has chocolate covered beans. heh. Now we know what to send for birthdays!

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."