Georgia redraws border with Tennessee in water grab, Virginia takes control of Chapel Hill

The opening salvo in interstate water wars was fired this week when the Georgia legislature voted to move the state's border to take over part of Tennessee. Sparking precedent for border battles of all sorts, Chapel Hill's city council responded by asking the state of Virginia to redraw its borders so that the university town could escape the clutches of Raleigh bigots.

"We're excited about the opportunity to be part of Virginia," said Mayor Mark Kleinschmidt. "With Republicans ruling the roost in Raleigh, North Carolina basically sucks. Our deepest appreciation goes out to the people of Virginia for throwing us this lifeline."

Asked what the most next move by the General Assembly would be, Kleinschmidt had a ready answer. "North Carolina will likely redraw its borders to take over some of South Carolina, including Myrtle Beach. That community should never have been part of South Carolina in the first place, and with all its trashy development, Myrtle Beach fits perfectly with the Republican vision for North Carolina. I'm just glad we were able to get the hell out of there."



This is a spoof, right? I mean, if the majority in NC and in-and-around Raleigh don't like that republican bigots and homophobes and so forth are controlling their particular piece of the earth, they need to work to change that rather than just running away and whining and crying, true?

There are many, many opportunities to change the direction Raleigh politicians are taking. It just takes time and effort. But, if it can't be changed then maybe it shouldn't be changed. Think about that.

Yes. Spoof.

Not entirely far-fetched given what's happening in Georgia, but still. Spoof for now.


Can we give Charlotte to South Carolina, while we're at it?


Can we stop stigmatizing other parts of our state? It's a deeply intolerant thing to say. We'd best leave it all in the realm of satire, if anywhere.