Jack Hawke: I'll work for any bat-shit crazy candidate, as long as he does what I say

The sick state of North Carolina's Republican Party came into sharp relief this week when one its masters of sleaze, Jack Hawke, resigned as an adviser to Paraclete, aka Tim D'Annunzio, aka Jesus Christ. Steve wrote about this yesterday, as have others, but I want to cover it from a different angle.

As you know by now, D'Annunzio is a Republican candidate of Congress, running in the 8th district to unseat Larry Kissell. Up until now, the full-time war profiteer and part-time blogger has been operating under the guiding hand of Jack Hawke, a GOP operative and long-standing ringleader in Art Pope's Puppetshow. Hawke had warned D'Annunzio to keep his lunatic late-night rantings to himself.

Hawke said he parted ways in part over D'Annunzio's posts on a blog called "Christ's War," which combines politics with Biblical references and end-times theology. Hawke said he advised the candidate to take it down after a February Observer story quoted passages from it. It disappeared from public view for a while but then reappeared. Another news story about the blog ran Thursday in Raleigh's News & Observer.

"He took it down, told me it was down and down to stay," said Hawke, who advised former Gov. Jim Martin and gubernatorial candidate Pat McCrory. "Next I knew it was in the N&O telling me it was back up. ... I don't think any candidate should get up at 3 or 4 in the morning, sit down in front of a computer and pour your heart out. It's just not a smart thing to do."

Hawke isn't upset that his client is a freakin' lunatic with a Christ complex. He isn't bothered that D'Annunzio is also a paranoid war-profiteer. No, none of that matters to Jack Hawke. His only concern is that voters might actually discover the true colors of the nut job he was working for.

And then Hawke and D'Annunzio both have to lie about the whole sick affair.

Hawke says the two "mutually parted ways." D'Annunzio spokeswoman Lauren Slepian said, "No one was fired, and no one quit."

"The change was initiated by Tim, but agreed to by Jack, that Tim would take full control over future strategy," she said in an e-mail. "Jack is still an informal advisor. ... We're taking his advice on a new TV ad that we'll have up on the air by Monday."

Jack Hawke is a political whore, pure and simple. He would have raked in the wacko's money from here to Sunday if Paraclete had taken his blog down for the duration. Talk about sick.

PS Dave Ribar's comment at Ed's place summarizes this nicely:

It also speaks volumes about Jack Hawke that he was willing to work for a candidate who held these views. Hawke only withdrew when the candidate insisted on revealing those views.


Just passing through

... glad to see the door are still open.

Miss ya, guy

Hope you're enjoying your "get-away".

Yep...they're keepin' the doors open and all's good.

Do Good, Be Nice, Have fun.

Got it?

It's similar to a

Hollywood agent claiming, "I had to quit representing Satan, because he couldn't get it through his head that the 'most beautiful angel' look was far better than the 'horns and pitchfork' character."

You can Burr Bank on it Jack!

Hawke says the two "mutually parted ways." D'Annunzio spokeswoman Lauren Slepian said, "No one was fired, and no one quit. No one was shot behind his back, no one was waterboard, In fact, Jack pick up his last check from us and gave us Jesus kisses and hugs and than hotfooted to the bank and cash it under the Name of "Fast Jack" without a Straight Jacket. There is no truth to the rumor that Jesus told Mr D'Annunzio though a End Times Religious Blog Site to fire Mr Hawke, However, it is true that Mr. D'Annunzio hears voices in the middle of night that tells him what to write about the evil empire on his blog* Paraphasing Ms Slepian on a screw-up GOP Tea Party political Moses parting of the waves.

The Firing?

Secret Meeting over the weekend at the Bing'um Bang Club on the Fayetteville Bragg Blvd Strip

Jack: Why did you called this meeting Zio?

D'Annunzio: Look Jack! I got problems and this campaign is not taking off like you said it would!

Jack: Hey wait a minute! You didn't tell me about this Jesus thing on the internet!

D'Annunzio: I couldn't! He was working undercover as a snitch in the other camps!

Jack: WTF!

D'Annunzio: That's right! In fact, he has given us some great scandel info on our competition!

Jack: Which party?

D'Annunzio: GOP, and boy did he digged up the dirt on this Larry Guy!

Jack: Larry is Democrat you freak!

D'Annunzio: Oh! Well WTF! We will claim that he switch parties last night and became a Pink Dog Republican.

Jack: You are calling him a naken Communist! You can't do that!

D'Annunzio: Why can't I? Glenn Beck said there was a book written by conservative Mormon years ago named " The Naken Communist Does Vegas"

Jack: Listen you crazy SOB, I got kids to support and 3 ex wifes, not counting that I own the IRS 50 grand for not filing taxes in 04 during the Jim Black era!

D'Annunzio: Yikes! I had no idea that you were tied to Jim Black I thought you worked for Art Pope

Jack: O4 was a bad year for me, since Bush sucked up all the consultant funds and left me hanging and Art was busy trying to take over the State by going after Easley and his used car business. I went undercover for the feds and was the dude who serve Black at the International House Of Pancakes. He left one hell'um of a tip when he and that other sleezbag Republican left the Pancake House with one paper bag instead of the other one he left on the table.

D'Annunzio: Jack! Are you sure that was a tip and Black had a senior moment at that time. He kept telling the feds it was a hundred grand instead of 50 grand figuring he would do less time.

Jack: No wonder the feds said it was their money start with, which bring us to this meeting! I want out Zio! I can't take anymore with your crazy shit. Hell, Duke has threaten to take away my political science degree if I keep consultanting you and my 4 th wife said she would leave me or cut off my nuts in the middle of night. My damn dog bit me the other night when he saw your latest TV commercial saying Jesus was your right hand man in Political combat. And Art Pope told me to screw off and I can't even draw unemployment benefits since I haven't paid into it in years as a private consultant. I am screw Zio, nobody wants me, even that weird State GOP Chairman told me to bug off if I couldn't wear a pink tie to State Party GOP meeting.=.

D'Annunzio: Jack! You can't get out! We Ziosopronos never let anybody out except by the back door of the bing'um bang Club ... Sorry Jack!


Sorry to rain on your parade, old man, but you're slipping over the edge and scaring people. As a virtual friend, I ask that you tone it down and keep it sane. Not everyone appreciates your unique sense of humor.


Hey Madame Dumbass

Sorry to rain on your stupid parade but you obviously know absolutely nothing about Jack Hawke. Grow up! He is a proud family man who has been married to the same woman for over 40 years, he has 5 children and 13 grandchildren. What have you done with your life other than write a fake ass stupid story on a blog? At least he is out there fighting the fight.


Old! and slipping over the edge and insane and scaring the crap out of sissies? paraphasing James

That was a beautiful smear and very unique in trying times and who is everybody? Have I joined a Communist movement for the common good and don't know it....Love and Kisses.. Conrade Beck

I didn't say everybody

... maybe I meant "me."

It was a work of art, indeed. And I wouldn't be surprised if the Hawkman and Paraclete has essentially that very conversation.

All is well.


PS Half the people in the world are sissies, and I count myself among them. No need to be rude.


Beautiful smear? Grow up idiot!

Maybe it was nobody?

PS Half the people in the world are sissies, and I count myself among them. No need to be rude.*James

I didn't call you a Big ugly Fat Sissy like some of my friends. I said you were a Communist without a country! Pay Attention! You know I write in Goat Code, and it takes years for Glenn Beck Republicans to understand it. As former Congressman Massa says " It's your time in the Barrel" Now tell us about your Navel ..Oops..Navy Service?