Pat McCrory goes rogue

Dear (American business leader name goes here),

As a man who has made his living running for governor in North Carolina, I believe I know what motivates you. It's the same thing that motivates me: money, money, money!

That's why I'm writing today with this invitation for you to move your company to North Carolina. With me as your governor here in the Old North State, you can be sure that your top executives will get all the care and coddling they deserve, with free rein to exploit employees and their families without fear of accountability. What's more, we will work with you to make sure that your workforce remains firmly under your thumb, no matter what.

If that promise sounds too good to be true, just look at the facts. In two short years, my fellow Republicans have dramatically cut funding for early childhood education programs, knocking our state from the top of the national rankings in record time. Now you can stop worrying about whether or not the families of your employees will get a good education ... they won't. But you'll get a tax break!

Also, we are working to pass our infamous Amendment One, which will make it easy for you to fire your gay employees before you make the big move!

Our state is your state, as long as you're straight.

Cheers!

Pat McCrory