parody

RALEIGH, NC - Tired of having to work so hard to drag North Carolina back to the stone age, Republican leaders in Raleigh today are considering new legislation that would make their job a lot easier. Emboldened by their success in breaking the state's contract for leasing the Dix property, as well as DAG McCrory's successful raid on the coffers of the Golden Leaf Foundation, the new GOP plan calls for a sweeping repeal of any legislation not passed during the current legislative session.

"We were originally focused on the Voting Rights Act," says Senator Andrew Brock, "with a tightly worded rebuke of that entire body of legislation. But then I thought, 'What the hell? Why not throw everything out!'"

Last month, I discussed the utter pointlessness of late-in-the-game Presidential Primaries, namely North Carolina’s primary on Tuesday, May 8th. But the big story on May 8th isn’t who political-minded North Carolinians are voting for. It’s what we are (or are not) voting for that has the lame-stream all a-buzz.

There has been a great deal of talk all across the USA regarding North Carolina’s Amendment One – aka “The Marriage Amendment” – vote. Amendment One is only a single sentence long, but it’s one of the most controversial sentences in recent memory (right up there with “I can’t believe it’s not butter!” and “Casey Anthony is innocent!”).

Read the whole article at Political Ruck.us.

CORNELIUS, NC - Buoyed by a record of success in privatizing schools, prisons, roads, state parks, and highways, North Carolina Speaker of the House Thom Tillis today announced plans to extend his winning streak into the bold new arena of private government.

"I've often said that my role as an elected official is to divide and conquer," said Tillis in a wide-ranging interview with this reporter. "That's the thinking behind my new Initiative to Privatize our Government, iPog for short. By putting government itself in the hands of private companies, we'll be able to guarantee that the poor get poorer, while rich white men, like me, get more of what we truly deserve."

This is political satire. The person talking in this video is not really Thom Tillis. To my knowledge.

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