satire

Tillis, Berger & McCrory rush new legislation outlawing elitism

This is satire. Please take it in the humorous spirit in which it is written.

Both houses of the North Carolina legislature rushed into late night session to pass legislation outlawing elitism in North Carolina and Governor Pat McCrory signed it this morning saying, "This is an important law to protect average North Carolinians from being discriminated against. I wish it had been in place before I selected our poet laureate. She was held to much higher standards than the average poet could meet. That isn't fair. Average people deserve a chance to get awards too."

The law addresses several areas where Tillis, Berger, and McCrory felt average North Carolinians were losing out:

NC Scholars

The NC Scholars program was started in 1983 to designate those high school students with high academic performance. The NC Scholars program will now recognize all students with a GPA of 2.0 and higher.

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