snark

Dallas Woodhouse questions the legitimacy of Trump's "victory" ... hints at need for new election

As part of his never-ending quest to disenfranchise Democratic voters, Dallas "The Bus Driver" Woodhouse yesterday said electoral fraud should be looked into.

“Look, I just think this is something that needs to be looked at,” he said. “Let’s provide some confidence to the system.” Woodhouse said he’s seen evidence of problems in North Carolina. “We’ve seen voter fraud in North Carolina, it may not be widespread,” he said. “We’ve had two local elections that were thrown out for vote buying and fraud.”

Trump himself has suggested his own election may have been tainted by fraud, a suggestion Woodhouse seems to agree with. The only solution appears to be a thorough investigation and a new presidential election.

For once, the Republicans have a point. If there was fraud, and it appears that voting operations in several swing states were compromised, we should know about it. A national inquiry into voter fraud and illegalities of any kind is called for. I'm confident that such an inquiry would reveal Trump to be in violation of numerous federal laws, resulting in the need for a new election.

PS Here's a video of The Bus Driver at his best.

Breaking: The end of marriage in North Carolina

RALEIGH - In a shrewd legislative maneuver, Senate Majority Leader Phil Berger today ushered North Carolina into a new post-coital era. The end of marriage is upon us.

"We're letting any public official who wants to opt out of marrying queers do just that," says Berger. "Unfortunately, they'll also have to opt out of marrying anybody else too. But whatever. At least queers won't be getting hitched."

The new law promises to decimate marriage in North Carolina. Magistrates, county clerks, registers of deeds, and everyone else involved in marriages can now say, "Thanks, but no thanks," knowing they have job protection no matter how little work they actually do.

"That's fine by me," says Berger. "I'm all for white Republican Christians getting paid to sit on their asses. It's only darkies that get under my skin."

In response to the action, a spokesperson for the North Carolina ACLU shook her head and laughed. "Here we go again," she said. Extremists passing laws that won't pass any constitutional smell test. So now the state will be spending millions of taxpayer dollars defending this crap in court."

UPDATE: Read the bill itself. And then encourage every public official you can think of to "just say no" in enabling any marriage.

Subscribe to RSS - snark