Tuesday Twitter roundup

This would be funny if it weren't so...okay, it's just funny:

underthedome 1:38pm via twitterfeed White House rejects petition asking for N.C. to secede: The White House responded to a petition calling for Nort... bit.ly/RYo3xj

As much as I hate to say it, if I were sitting in the Oval Office, I might have been tempted to grant it...

NCPoliticalBeat 11:09am via dlvr.it [Under the Dome] Hood: Economists agree that if you cut benefits, unemployment will decline bit.ly/13zoCBr #NCPol

And so will the consumer-based economy, childhood nutrition, home ownership, and (wait for it) successful and resilient marriages. It ain't rocket science, John Boy.

TheFix 4:53pm via HootSuite
The Rick-Scott-adopts-dog-for-2010-campaign-then-gives-it-back story proves political fact stranger than fiction. ow.ly/gQlbC

Noteworthy:

After winning the Republican nomination for Governor, Scott announced that his family had rescued a Labrador retriever and named it Reagan, at the urging of his Facebook friends. By 2011, the dog had disappeared with its last appearance at Scott's swearing-in ceremony in January of that year.

The newspaper then confronted Scott himself, asking him where his dog was. Scott said they had given the dog back to its owner because it "scared the living daylights" out of people at the governor's mansion, and "barked like crazy."

Just for future reference: most Labrador Retrievers are Democrats, even the ones who actually retrieve unfortunate birds who get shot by assholes with nothing better to do. Granted, that second group are blue dogs, but they can generally be counted on for non-controversial votes.

NCDemParty 6:14pm via HootSuite
RT @louismduke: Plz consider making a donation today to help fight the Repub Gerrymandering in court action. ncdp.org/page/m/75d6946… #NCDP #NCGA #NCPol

It ain't over 'til it's over.

I'm in the mood for two Onions tonight:

The Onion‏@TheOnion

This Week's Top Story: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack http://onion.com/VS1U1R

:) I don't know why that made me laugh so hard, but it did.

The Onion‏@TheOnion

2012 Was Once Considered Hottest Year On Record, Man In 2024 Remembers Wistfully http://onion.com/10fHcja

That one was more depressing than it was funny. I should have finished with the gorilla thing. Ah! I can fix that:

The Onion‏@TheOnion

"Listen, it’s my God-given right as an American to have the freedom to own a gorilla to protect myself and my family" http://onion.com/VS3qAX

:)